Friday, September 23, 2011

Navy Wives 101

The Navy is a never ending circle of Sailors coming in and Sailors getting out. A lot of times those Sailors coming in aren't sure what roles their wives are supposed to play anymore than the wives themselves. It's like throwing them  a box full of information and resources, but not teaching them how to open it. There are materials in that box ranging from how to get into military housing to how to get a college scholarship. This being Navy Wives 101 I am going to give out the foundation and you can build from there.

You basically only need to know 5 things to be a Submariners wife!

You need to know it and you need to remember it! Lots of times the stresses in the Military lifestyle will leave wives questioning this and MOST of the time it's not warranted. The Submarine force is unlike any other force in the Navy. When our guys are gone- they're gone! We don't have the luxury of facebook, skype, or phonecalls while they are underway. We get emails and not the nice kind that you can attach pictures and videos to. We get Navy modified emails that are monitored for security breeches and "too personal" of information. By "too personal" I mean that if you write ANYTHING that could upset your sailor or cause him stress then he WILL NOT be getting that letter. For any other source of contact you have to pray they hit a port and get a little time to go to a  liberty center for internet access. Keep in mind that the internet source is being used by everyone and overloads quite often. While they are gone the only contact is email and just because that's availiable to them does not mean they are going to have time to write! Some wives get more emails than others. It really depends on your husbands duties and what he has going on down there. The amount of emails you get does not show how much your husband loves you.

Before you go pouring out all of your feelings to a wife you need to feel out the situation and get to know just who it is you are talking to. There is no magic that automatically makes the Drama filled girls Drama free and there are A LOT of Drama filled girls amoungst the Navy Wives.

#3 Ombudsman
What is the Ombudsman? You have probably heard this word and have no idea what it means! The Ombudsman can be one person or several people. They work with the Boat to get information FROM the Boat out to the families and FROM the Families to the Boat. The first thing you need to do when you get to a new boat is to make sure your husband gets you the Ombudsman contact information and that he fills out the Ombudsman Sheets that allow you to get information. If he doesn't do this then you will NOT recieve any information concerning the boat. Not even if you call! That is very important! The Ombudsman is who you would call in the case of an emergency. They can help you with getting intouch with exactly who you need to in a crisis. They can also help get you intouch with the FRG

#4 What is the FRG
The FRG (Family Readiness Group) is a boat association for the families of the sailor. The FRG does things like hosting events for the boat families, Halfway bags for the Sailors, providing meals after a wife has had a baby, and SO much more. They are your support system. The FRG and the Ombudsman work hand in hand in making sure that you as a family are taken care of. The FRG is basically the "FUN" Group. Another thing that is VERY important that you should know is that inorder to get information from the FRG you have to give them your information as well. The Ombudsman are not allowed to give out your information to anyone and the ONLY way the FRG will get your information is if you contact them yourself.

There is a saying, "Loose Lips Sink Ships." Never talk about ship schedules or where the guys are going! It isn't worth the risk! Do not post anything about the boat on facebook or anywhere on the internet. Also do not talk about it over the phone. If you MUST talk about boat movement then it is best to do it in person in private.

Those are the 5 things you need to know to survive the Submariners wife life! Remember them and you can build on them. Welcome to the Navy life- who knows, we might end up on the same boat someday!


  1. I just stumbled across your blog and would love for you to write more! My Sailor and I eloped in Feb of 2011 and I'm always on the look out for advice from more experienced gals!

  2. Wow. This is exactly what I've been looking for. I've found plenty of navy wife/ girlfriend blogs but they're all centered around surface life. I'm not a wife, mind you. However, my submariner boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years & it's something we've discussed. Please write more. Thanks.

  3. Thanks guys! I stopped blogging for a while because I felt no one was reading. I will definitely be posting more. Thanks for the encouragement.

  4. Hi Tara, pls write more. My boyfriend will have IQ and medical test in May. This is very new to me. That's good to find your blog.

  5. How are the cycles like? with off shore and etc ?